I realized on Saturday that everything I put into my body now goes through a 3 stage evaluation:
1) Will this make me sick? (gluten, soy, too much potato, tomato, dairy etc.)
2) Is this Alex approved ? (will I get punished at the gym for eating it)
3) Do I want/like it?
This system can be exhausting! I feel like I am over-analyzing it at times.
|This weeks lunches - pumpkin curry soup (Alex approved) and quinoa with asparagus (not Alex approved)|
I also find myself both completely judging other people's food choices and completely envying them at the same time. I want to scream - "you are poisoning yourself, please pass me some so I can die from food with you too!" Fortunately, this has not happened yet, but some day in the grocery store, some poor person may get it!
I know all the reasons why I should be eating basically the Paleo diet (with a few more grains - it is the compromise Alex and I have reached). I watched Fed Up and Sugar Coated and I know how the processed food industry works. I know sugar is 8 times more addictive than cocaine but that doesn't help. Our culture is completely dominated by processed, easy, usually junky food and treats. A week doesn't go by at work where there isn't cake or donuts. In my house I watch my husband eat ice cream, chips, and drink pop. Everywhere I look people are putting down real food. If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend Adele Hello Parody. I thought I was going to pee my pants.
It remains a battle. It isn't a new one to me. It is one I have been fighting really since I took on the elimination diet in March. I had hoped by now, it would be easier. Maybe as I see more results at the gym, which by the way because I have clearly lost my mind (lack of sugar and chemicals???) I have signed up for 12 more weeks of fun with my BFF Alex. (more about that in another post).
Fingers crossed for me today, I really get my weight and body fat analysis done. It didn't get done on Thursday (I am not sure if Alex forgot or didn't want to do it, but apparently you can't do it after a workout) but he has promised to do it today (after I called him a liar and a jerk, and Sam told him to just give me my data it will make everyone else's life better). I am refusing to do anything until it is done (man, I totally wouldn't want to train me, I am a pain in the ass). Will share when I have them!