I have been feeling tired, busy, sore and slightly crazed the past few weeks. This is made worse by a new reoccurring knee issue. Alex and I are trying to figure it out. We will talk about it today and I will report on it later.
I know I have made progress at the gym etc. because if nothing else I had to buy lots of new pants as mine were falling off. I mean literally falling off. And yes, I got teary when I slipped into the size 6 pants (shorted lived as my husband said the knees looked funny) and the small skirt (which I never showed him so he couldn't ruin it). I never thought that would happen. I never dreamed of being a different size.
On the weekend I was at a conference/workshop thingy. There were a number of people I have worked with in the past but haven't seen for 2-6 or so years. They said things like:
"I didn't recognize you, you look great!" (I will take that as a compliment even though it implies I looked like crap before.)
"You look awesome!"
"What are you doing? You are glowing and look fantastic."
I responded by giving Alex all the credit for it. I was thinking about this later, and I realized that I really need to shift the credit from Alex to myself. He should get an acknowledgement as my coach, but not the gold. I am the one who is not drinking wine every night or binging on carbs. I am the one who wants to die at the gym. He is usually pacing around (drives me crazy) counting and coaching. I know I am a pain in the ass, but I am probably doing more hard work than he is.
I realized I am not good at taking credit for things. I can take blame well, but not credit. I always brush it off like it is no big deal, or just something I happen to be doing. Part of that is because that is how I often feel, this is just what I am doing, and part of that is I am not a huge fan of praise/being the centre of things for some reason. I need to work on that.
I will start with writing:
I am awesome!
(Ok, that felt totally weird, it will take some getting use to!)
Editor's Note: You can tell I haven't been to the gym for 4 days as I am writing this because Alex is just Alex, not F'in Alex.